Posted by: firstfruitsfarmne | February 27, 2010

Meant to be…

I’m not the perfect mother they deserve.  I’m sometimes so selfish.  Some mornings I don’t even want to get out of bed at first– not ready to start the long, long day of serving them.  Often I have to fight against my flesh so hard to perform even the simplest duties, because I would rather do something “fun ” for a change.  Why did He bless me with such wonderful, precious little souls when I’m so unworthy?  I can’t answer that, but I do know He doesn’t make mistakes.  I am meant to be their mother.

And how I long to be more patient.  I want my legacy to my children to be that of being a gentle, kind, quiet mother who never loses her patience or speaks unkindly with them ever. Instead, I’m afraid all they will remember is me apologizing almost everyday for failing in that area!  Why would He give such gifts to a woman like that? I’m stumped.  But I’m still meant to be their mother.


And why would the Almighty want me to bring up the next generation for Him, when I can’t seem to love Him and serve Him faithfully for two minutes at a time?  When sometimes I’ll go for hours without even acknowledging Him?  Why doesn’t He just give up on me?  Instead He blesses me with children!  Why am I meant to be their mother?

I am His child.  They are mine.  I see their sin, and He surely sees mine.  Sometimes, being human, I do get frustrated with all these little sinful natures running around.  Most of the time, however, I’m able to look on their faults with love and pity and I want to teach them, to train them and help them through it.  It doesn’t keep me from seeing their potential, though.  I see what Father can do in them, and I’m excited.  And I’m beginning to wonder if He sees me the same way.  He gave me these very children to teach me, as I am to teach them!   Oh, what dross comes to the top when you seek to raise little ones.  I’m learning more and more everyday what a terrible sinner I am apart from Christ, and oh, it hurts.  What a greater appreciation I have for His sacrifice.  How thankful I am that my sins are washed away and there is no condemnation!

I’m nothing apart from Christ, but I’m all the mother they have.  They need me and I need them.  I believe that is why I am meant to be their mother!


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Responses

  1. What a wonderful blessing!! Hugs to you all.

  2. This post was SO encouraging! Thank you for sharing!

  3. Heartfelt words from one mothers heart to another. Many days I feel exactly the same way. But as you say, we know God doesn’t make mistakes. Take care and God bless.

  4. Your post just cut me to the core! There are too many days that I feel this same way. Thank you for sharing!!! It always helps to know you’re not alone!
    Cath

  5. Very well written. Thanks for sharing your heart. Can I say, without being too cheesey, that it made me cry? You perfectly described what has been burning in my heart lately. Exactly. Thanks.

    ~K~

  6. In response to your last post: I appreciate hearing about all the little stuff as I follow your blog. It is great to hear how your children are growing and learning!

    And to this post: Wow, that is so true! I often forget that I am hear to serve not just must husband but my children! Thank you for the reminder!!!

  7. Thank you for being so open and sharing. I have the very same thoughts and I was blessed by what you shared. So glad I’m not alone.


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