Posted by: firstfruitsfarmne | April 3, 2009



The word “honor” has been floating around in my ahead a lot for the past few days.  I’ve been thinking a lot, and have been convicted a lot of how little honor I show my husband and how very much he deserves.  I can appreciate him and think thankful thoughts and in general just feel honor to myself, but I’m not sure that blesses him very much.  I’m also pretty  sure that doesn’t paint a picture of how a Godly woman respects and reveres her husband to my children.

Just as women seem to need more outward displays of love from their husbands, so I believe that men could use more outward displays of honor from their wives.  Yes, I am very preoccupied with other seemingly more pressing things,  but how much does it really take?  And what consequences could a lack of honor and respect have on our marriage and on our children’s marriages?

So I’ve been thinking, “What are some practical ways to show honor to my Beloved?”  I thought of a list of ideas.  Some of these I already do most of the time, but I could always use work on, and some are things I know would please God, but I just never seem to get around to, or maybe I just don’t want to!  Either way, this list is to prod me on to “love and good works”!

  1. Pray for him.  I am his helper.  How can I help him more?
  2. Look at him when he speaks.  I want him to know that he’s the most important person in my life and when he has something to say, it’s a big deal.
  3. Tell him often, daily, how much you appreciate his hard work.
  4. Build him up to the children.  They should think he’s really something else.
  5. Prepare for him.  A clean, combed, sweet-smelling wife has to be nicer than the alternative.  Children, too, come to think of it.
  6. Do not vomit your frustrated feelings on his shoes constantly.  Joyfulness is more endearing to a man than a sour grump all the time.
  7. Never, ever, ever contradict him in public.  (Ok, unless it’s very trivial information like the date of an event or something.  Theology, politics, farming– not a good idea!)  It should go without saying that I should never laugh at him or criticize him to others–ever.  Whew, romance killer.
  8. Make his ambition my ambition.  No separate agendas in this marriage.  It’s my job to help him do his.
  9. Take note of the little things that are important to him.  My husband appreciates the eggs being taken care of promptly, no food crumbs left around, a special glass for his water, and a clean coffee pot.  I even made a list for the children of practical ways they can bless daddy.
  10. Make some “family ways” or traditions that cultivate honor.  A few I would like to implement are being silent when dad is on the phone,  having the children occasionally not speak until spoken to at dinner, so they can actually listen to their dad talk about his day, and serving him at the table.

Even though my husband is not perfect, our marriage is still to be a picture of Christ and his bride, although an imperfect one since we are still in the flesh.  However, even if he was not my wonderful beloved, my responsibility to honor his position would not change.  Though I’m sure it would become much more difficult.  I’ve heard the illustration of honoring an unworthy husband as being like holding a crown a little out of reach over a man’s head.  He’ll stand on tiptoes or grab a chair or try anything to attain it!

I’m sure some of you ladies have some more wonderful ideas!  Care to share?



  1. I can’t tell you how much I have enjoyed your last two posts. Thank you for the much needed reminders and wisdom.

  2. I have been going back and reading all your old posts. I didn’t want you to think it was some crazy person stalking you or something. LOL

    I’m going back through right now to try and find the Spurgeon book you posted about. You don’t have to post this. I just wanted to leave you a message. I have especially enjoyed your gardening/canning posts, btw.

  3. Thank you for sharing that. Your words are often a prick to my heart, because you’re right.

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